A time to reflect

It has been quite sometime since I have written, and I mean really written. About hopes, dreams passions, questions and I have been feeling that separation; from myself. I am two people the happy lets change the world girl to the one who sits by sometimes and questions her every move. I no longer want to look at my life from the outside. I want to be in my life. Living everyday to be who I want to be. And maybe just maybe I don't know who that is yet. Maybe just maybe I am still figuring that out, and thats okay. Its okay to not have every second of my life planned. To not know my career, if I will ever fall in love, if I should go to school. Its okay to live day by day. For me its living each day knowing there is a purpose in that day. Knowing that for me God has a purpose and just by getting up and walking in this world I am making a difference. I want to be happy with who I am here and now. With how much I give and how much I dream. I am getting there, slowly but surly I am proud of myself. I am excited to start finding me again. I hope some of you come along for the ride:)

I care.

I recently embarked on a goal to write and encouraging thought for the day, the sometimes being the week, but none the less to allow others to see in themselves their worth. Honestly to show them they can do anything. Here are a few...
Encouraging thought for the day... There is good in this world. I know sometimes its hard to see and some times we may not even want to look for the good, but its there. It is in the man singing love songs, the high schooler following their passion, in the smile of a friend, it is right in front of us. No matter where you are in life I promise its there. May your goal today be to find it. Tell me where you see it. :)

Encouraging thought for the day... You are amazing. I hope you have been told that recently because you are and you deserve to know. You affect lives around you every day, you bring joy into people's lives, you even make people believe in themse...lves. Wow you are so cool. I am glad to be your friend. Keep shining because you really are so wonderful. Don't forget how amazing you are.

Encouraging thought for the day... You've got this. You my friend are capable of anything. Far too often we listen to the bad things you can't this you can't that. So lets change our thinking and know that we can. You can change the world, you can impact people's lives, you can follow your dreams. I believe in you. You've got this.

Encouraging thought for the day... I care about you. Its true I do. I would do just about anything to make you realize this as well. I want you to know that I am here rooting you on. Make sure that as you go through your day know that no matter what I care and I am always here for you.

Encouraging thought for the day...I miss you. Whether I saw you 5 minutes ago, 5 days, weeks, years, I miss you. You have had an impact in my life. Even if you think you have not your presence simply has made me who I am. Know that you do that with everyone you come in contact with. Cherish that and make the best of every second spent with someone. I have missed you. Lets talk, see each other, anything:)

Encouraging thought for the day... I love you. Whether you are my best friend, someone I hang out with or someone I have only sort of met. I love you. You are amazing, wonderful and you have so much to give. I care about you so much and would do so much for you. So be confident today that you my friend are loved. Even if you feel that no one cares, that you are unlovable, push those feelings away and know that I do.

Encouraging thought for the day... I believe in you. I believe you are capable of anything and everything you set your mind to. I also believe you are amazing and gifted and I can't wait to see where you take yourself. Please keep me updated:) Go catch those dreams and know I am behind you cheering you on.

Encouraging thought for the day... Your smile brightens my world. A smile can impact more people than you can understand. So today smile. For they are contagious.

Encouraging thought for the day... You have all it takes to change the world. You have every quality to make a difference in peoples lives. Continue to believe that even when you feel you cant go on. You've got this and I am cheering you on.

Encouraging thought for the day... You are beautiful. You shine onto me more than any of you can know that you do. You inspire the people around you to speak up, to compliment, to volunteer, to lead, but most importantly to be themselves. Thank you.

Passion

What if we were all passionate about something positive? What if we acted on those passions? What if we all impacted the world? What if we truly changed the world?

This week at my church we are fasting and praying for a revial of Portland. It has been amazing to be around a group of people who are so passionate about God, about changing the way this city thinks about our creator. I have felt privialged to be able to pray for change and pray for a flood of believers in Portland.

Lets all find a passion. What is yours?

A question to ponder.

I went to pick out stationary the other day, and as I stood there I was overwhelmed by the amount of choices I had before me. All sorts of cards; some cards with colors on them, some with flowers, others with funky designs, and yet still more covered with animals and words. What one fit me best? I wanted the person who received the card to know that one was definitely from me. I wanted them to know that I had chosen that card for a reason. And as I stood in the middle of this aisle with people all around me I began to wonder who I was as a person. What do people see when they look at me? Do they first see the crazy red hair (that unwillingly to me is turning a little brown. I am terrified of this by the way.) or my smile, or do they just see a young woman with love handles she is trying to cover. I was interrupted in my thought process by an older man who simply said excuse me, but that’s all it took to snap me back into the store and into the cards. As the man walked away I wondered what card he would choose and as my eyes began to dodge the racks in front of me and follow him, something caught my eye. It was a feather, those seem to be very popular at the moment, and the feather sent me soaring into my thoughts again. Who am I? Where do I want to soar to? Yet again I was interrupted, this time by a young woman, probably my age, and I thought what does she see? Where do her eyes drift in this store? Is it to the section with beautiful papers and ribbons, or the cute Portland clothes and bags, or better yet is it to the organic book section? I found that in that instant I wanted to run out of the store and find myself. I wanted to survey every person I knew and ask them what they thought of me. Do we determine who we are by others standards or is it that we truly find the things we alone find fascinating and those determine who we are?

I'm here to stay

I have relalized I have become unhappy recently, something totally new for me. So I have decided to do something to change that. I think I am going to write a book. A book of questions that I can give to others but mainly so I can figure out who I am and how I want to impact the world. Questions such as; who are you, what is one thing you like about yourself, what is something the world needs more of, how do you want to impact others, what is your passion, do you want friends, who has influneced you the most, what is your greatest failure and what did you do after it happend, what are you proud of, why do you wake up each day, what are you thinking about? Just a few to add to the book. I think questions can change the world. I believe in gettting to know people and allowing them to feel value. So ask a question today to someone you don't usually talk to, and ask it like you mean it and really listen to the answer. Let me know how it impacted you.

A smile

I have decided a smile is the one thing that can change the world, the one thing that truly is contagious. Think about how different this entire world would be if we all just genuinly smiled at one another. So lets make a pact, lets smile at everyone:)

The Plan?

Everyone else seems to have a plan, college, career, family. I don't. I have ideas of my passions, I have ideas about the type of job I want, but I just want to dabble in everything. I want to help as many people as possible and still be able to see my family on a weekly basis. I want to change the world and still see my brother and sister grow up. I want to be able to hug my Charlie and Lucy. I try and dream big, but what do I dream for? Is money the answer so I can just fly around the country and see Liz and Morgan once a week? I don't think money can be the answer but by golly it would sure help. How do I even begin to change the world? I would simply love to put a smile on every single persons face, I would love to break down peoples barriers. I would love to be able to encourage people to find who they are and love them for who they are. Maybe thats what I need to find why I love helping and encourage others to make the difference. Any ideas though?

I will go where you lead

I heard a song once, twice, about 30 times by Starfield and the line, " I will go Lord send me, to the world, to the lost, to the broke, and hungry, take everything I am, I pray within your hands, I will go send me." Has become my "theme song." I truly just want to go where the Lord sends me, to the people he wants me to touch, to the lives he wants me to be a part of. Where could he be leading me though?

Southern comfort

I am writting this evening in one of my favorite places... Biloxi, Mississippi. A place where I spent a year finding who I am, volunteering and shaping my passions and dreams. Its amazing to me that so many emotions can be flooding my heart at the same time. There are feeling of excitment for the opportunity at hand, being able to fulfill one of my biggest passions which is building down here, and being able to see my second family and some of my closest friends. However I am nervous to build and to be back in a place I call home. How do I move on from this place? I left here so sad, saying goodbye to amazing friends, and not really knowing where I was headed next. So this trip I hope to leave being able to look back and be happy about leaving and be able to accomplish so much more out of life.

The begining

There is some sort of a release of just writting, as I am sure we all know. One where you can simply let every emotion onto the page, where you can let everything you are feeling out. I have found that I somehow feel lost at the moment. I feel as though there is this huge world ahead of me. One where I can accomplish anything I want. Yet, I have no idea where to begin. I am so passionate about so many things how do I stop and narrow it down to one field, one job? I feel this sense of urgency to accomplish everything. To save the world. I just have no idea how to start. You know AmeriCorps was amazing. It opened so many doors and yet sometimes I feel like I cannot ever top that expierence. Where to start? Where to start?